My friend

Today one of my friends mocked me... She doesn´t get it that she actually makes me sad. Then she just wants things from me ... Even though she mocked my standing, I oft stand in the shape of S when I dont remember to stand straight and then after PE she sayd am I trying to stand straight or not? I sayd no and then she was like oh, so you stand like this and she put her bum really back and belly front. So you like standing / stand  like this? Its not my fault I have a bigger bum then her and was just lazy and exhausted from PE and didn´t stand straight! ITS NOT MY FAULT!

It is making me cry when I think it in my head and write it here ... but it is better at least to write it somewhere than just keep it in your mind.

She has sayd that her parents mock her, I feel sorry for her cuz I know now how it feels. That doesnt give her right to be like that to me too though ...

Some classes later she asked me for my water. ... Sorry but she like lives out of my water when we are at school. Every day she asks for it when she sees it in my hands and when I have some food or gum then she asks for it too. Even though I give her that cuz Im a nice person she is still asking for her 22 (euro) cets. Is that fair I ask you?

I have become more protective over my food and drink - I don´t share it freely anymore.

For the first time today I sayd no to her when she asked for my water. Can´t they just drink from the sink?! My tummy starts crumbling before theyrs! And drinking and eating snacks help me to live through the day.

Them: "Can I have a biscuit? Im hungry" Me: "Sure"
Me: "Why we´rent you at the cafeteria? Last break" Them: "We were not hungry then." Yeah right. Them: "Besides it was more quiet now." So you leave me here alone, dont tell me and just use me when you need me?

Right now I feel like they really only use me. Yeah sure, we hang out. But can´t you be like the same at school? They really only ask food and something drink from me? oh, and homework.

This one time in one class this girl I was talking about before playfully teased me. I sayd now you cant get any gum. "NO! I want gum!" Then she gave me a two second massage for my shoulders. She didn´t know or has forgotten I dont like hard massages ...Yeah I gave her gum... This one time there was only one last cookie left. The other one I gave to my deskneighbour. She: "Can I have a cookie?" Me: "There is only this one left." She: "Yeah but!" Me: "I want this one for myself" Then she pouted: "Then I want some gum" and she reached the gum she saw in my bag. Yeah she got it....

   She has changed ... Will I still like the new her? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I doubt about it. Sorry if you ever read this.

Another good song: 

Rihanna - Diamonds

does the last pic still work for me? ...